The feelings over an over-aged clubber who should know better @disclosurefans #deephouse

This was written a while ago for another blog after a Jimpster gig In Fabric London (i did say Disclosure earlier….sorry im old and probably have…….cant remember )

Old Gits rule

A short history to understand where the writer is coming from:

So back in 1987-88 the world of clubbing changed, some say for the better some say for the worse.

For the more youthful reader your parents will tell you how going out originally for a beer and to see your mates, maybe pull or be pulled by a member of the opposite sex, dance to Rick Astley or some other seriously dodgy production by Stock Aitken and Waterman and then sod off home to be in bed (hopefully somebody else’s, but most probably your own) by 2am with a pocket emptied by the price of Beer, kebabs and a taxi…..hangover guaranteed the next morning.

Or perhaps your parents were slightly more in tune to what was going on in the “Underground” side of clubbing.

Perhaps they were part of the Soul revolution….underground warehouse parties that were popping up across the country spinning Soul and Funk, soon be known and forevermore as “Raregroove” and soon to be infiltrated by a new sound from the USA, “Hip-Hop”.

The music was better, there was more of a feeling of community at the events, people who attended went for “The Music”…….but also to (as the less switched on also did in the maintsream clubs of the time) drink alcohol, pull or be pulled by a member of the opposite sex and then sod off home to be in bed (hopefully somebody else’s, but most probably your own) by 2am with a pocket emptied by the price of Beer, kebabs and a taxi…..hangover guaranteed the next morning.

Then came 1987-88 and EVERYTHING changed.


In both camps, the mainstream and the underground another new sound from the USA was coming out of the speakers, a music that has spawned sub-genres such as Jungle/Drum and Bass/Trance/”Rave” (an awful word more of a generalisation than a sub-genre) which then later spawned Dub-step/garage and a multitude of other dance music genres, but back then we knew it only as HOUSE.

HOUSE soon got too big for the clubs, and the clubs were closing too early, the parties moved to the fields of our beautiful country. For some reason that I shall not mention within this blog people wanted to party for a hell of a lot longer, lost in the music.

But fields have no walls, so there was no limit to how many people could go, so rather than a few hundred at a party, the attendance quickly moved to a few thousand.

Because these parties had variable and less stringent licensing (if at all) the parties went on for a lot longer (look up Castlemoreton on Wikipedia

Now I could fill pages and pages with the history of this time and bore you to death (if you are still with me on this then well done you) but i won’t. To cut a long story short the Government were not best pleased and used a law called “The Criminal Justice Bill” to close the parties down…. however being such good sports and realising they could get more tax from the sales of alcohol they started allowing the legal nightclubs of the Nineties to open later and later……which has brought us the Superclubs and legal events of nowadays that stay open till the following morning and allows the clubber of today to continue their all night partying in a much safer environment.

So as you can see the scene that your parents enjoyed so much still goes on today, and every so often you will notice people of this first generation wanting to go out for old times sake and have a bit of a dance.

A lot of this older generation are promoters of parties from old, Djs who have yet to hang up their headphones, or just old people still looking for the good time they remember so much…..and like a lot of the “Superstar DJ’s still around they are in their forties, but they are gradually dying off, so your chance of spotting one does become less and less.

I am one of these weird old people that make you feel uncomfortable and look out of place so let me tell you what changes I have seen and what i put myself though to join you on the dancefloor.

Firstly the reason I still go out is because I like throwing parties and playing records at them, I have done so for 26 years and I won’t stop for fear of having to take up Golf or Fishing instead to keep me active. I don’t do it that much, between 8 and 10 times a year on special occasions and to see DJs I want to see, meet new people and try and keep myself and my parties fresh and up-to date.

However to give you an idea of how my head has changed i will now compare how i felt about a night out in my twenties and at my current age.

1/ So your best mate gives you a bell and tells you that theres going to be a bit of an outing to London (we live about 150 miles away) to go and see and meet one of our favourite DJ’s, we have guest list at a venue which has the reputation of one of the best clubs in the world

In my twenties: Excited

Current Age: Excited

2/ The day comes, it’s one of the coldest weekends in January and you know you have a 300 mile round trip with a car full of mates, you are going to be up for around 24 hours. BUT it promises to be a night you will never forget! You’re are out with the boys! Your other half is cuddled up on the sofa under an electric blanket with the fire roaring watching Saturday night TV having a cup of Hot Chocolate.

In my twenties: Looking at my girlfriend thinking i need to change her for more of a party animal who can keep up

Current Age: MAN she looks cosy, I wonder who’s on Jonathon Ross tonight? The roads look a bit dodgy…i need an excuse to get out of this and stay home.

3/ Getting dressed for the party:


In my Twenties: Gotta be my best pair of Levis

Current ages: Gotta be my best pair of Levis


In my twenties: “Where’s my favourite T-Shirt?”

Current Age: “Can’t wear my favourite T-Shirt, I look a prat in it now and its too cold outside, A black top will hide the bulge, Christ did i really eat that much over Xmas?”


In my twenties: “Gotta wear my new Pumas, don’t care if they aren’t worn it they look the nuts!”

Current age: “Better clean my old Pumas, At least they wont rub me feet”

I Look in the mirror:

In my twenties: “That’ll make me stand out!”

Current Age: “God i hope I blend in”

3/ You pick up the boys one pulls out his Ipod/Cd/Cassette (for the times before). Your mate asks if he can put it on and turns it up

In my Twenties: “Parties started!, Turn it up mate i’ll put me foot down”

Current age; “Turn that shit off i’m trying to drive!”

4/ You get to the club and walk to the front of the queue, The girl asks if she can help you. You tell her you’re on the guest list

In my twenties: Big smile from the girl on the door

Current age: Look of disbelief and pity from the girl on the door

5/ You get in the club, put your coat in (which you wouldn’t have bothered with in your twenties and go to have a look around.

In my twenties i think :”This place is HUGE!”

Current age: “Christ how many stairs?

6/ You hit the room of choice, meet up with your mate and its time to blag your way into the Dj Console.

In my Twenties: “Mate can i come in and hangout, got something for ya!”

Current age: “Mate any chance i can come in and sit down? its bloody crowded out there!”

Dancefloor Etiquette:

In my Twenties: get in the middle and let’s have it!

Current age: Stand in the corner and make all the kids nervous because they think you are C.I.D.

Looking at Girls:

In my twenties: Notice girl wearing basically nothing, nudge your mates and get them to notice thinking to myself “Now that is Fit!”

Current age: Notice girl wearing basically nothing, turn to your mate and say “thank god i didnt have a daughter if thats how they dress now” then walk in the opposite direction so you dont stand out and look like a pervert for gauping at somebody half your age.

End of the night:

In My Twenties: Right then….Afterparty

Current Age: Leave before the end of the night get in the car and find somewhere to get a coffee so you don’t kill yourself falling asleep at the wheel on the M3.

So there you have it, next time you see the grey haired git in the corner of room 3 of fabric, take a second look, he probably isn’t undercover police, if he smiles at you that doesn’t mean he’s a pervert. He is just a person who still loves his music, and he’s put himself through a hell of a lot more effort to get there than you have and share your experience………right then where’s me cocoa?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s